Playing the role of the modern mum in today’s digital all sharing world has become a high pressure job where we aren’t even safe from our own judgement. The stakes are high as we look to raise the perfect child, in the perfect home, cooking the perfect meals, having the perfect holidays and looking perfect in our bikinis while doing it all. It all sounds so easy just turn on the tv or search through social media and you’ll quickly see it has become the new normal.
The portrayal of the modern mum through all forms of media has become so aspirational one must question its actual realism for the everyday woman. Yet we judge each other and ourselves against this role model with increasing harshness and sense of expectation.
How do you perfectly balance work, raising kids, keeping a home and looking perfect? If someone has the answer I’d be very interested in learning. For those with a high disposal income there is the option of hired help like chefs, nannies, personal trainers and great cosmetic surgeons but most of us aren’t in this situation. Yet we are often judging ourselves against those who are.
In the media everything looks so perfect but you must remember that’s what they are selling, perfection. But is it all just a facade? You just need to look at the perfect Brangelina family we all aspired to become and what actually lay behind the curtain of marketing spin…..a normal troubled family. No different to the couple across the road or down the street or even what sits within our own four walls. With all their money, good looks and aura of perfection they ended up being no different from any other family with their issues and mess.
Kids are a handful and they are all so different. There is so often no one right or wrong answer in how we raise them. As long as you love them and give them the attention and support they need you’re doing a damn fine job. So tonight you bought take out for dinner, there are some clothes on the floor, you no longer fit last year’s jeans, your Instagram photo didn’t break the internet and your gym session consists of the distance between the lounge and the bedroom….so what? Be kind to yourself because parenting isn’t easy. You’re allowed to be tired and you’re allowed to be less than perfect because we live in the real world and it is far from perfect.
In the race for being perfect we so very often forget to rest and congratulate ourselves on getting through the day making sure the family is fed, the kids did their homework and everyone is wearing clean clothes, while very often having our day job.
To all the different types of mothers who fight and scrap to give their families the best possible life they can, I say well done. I say you may not think you’re perfect but trust me you are the perfect role model. Putting others before yourself is truly aspirational and you’re already there.
Please take the time to sit down, relax and say to yourself, well done on getting the kids to sleep and making sure the house didn’t burn down today. That’s pretty perfect in my books.